Assalaamualaikum to all,
My name is Abu Funza, and no I'm not related to Abu Humza. I like to think of myself as a pioneer - I want to bring the fun back into fundamentalism, which will become more evident in posts to come insha'allah.
But enough small chit chat, I want to talk about something that makes me kinda concerned. See, I like to do things to help my community and I want to learn ways of doing this. That's why I like to get involved with good organisations that I know will make a difference, to help one and all, no matter what their race, colour or creed....BUT, my parents are not so cool with it.
The problem is that they are scared, the way Muslims are demonised in some parts of the media (no I don't mean Islam Channel :P), they are afraid that I might be attacked (by racists and Islamophobes) or taken away (by our lovely Prime Minister - Gordon Brown...oops I mean Tony Blair, but Brown'll be there I bet sooner rather than later).
So whenever I want to attend a conference or join an organisation, you can imagine the response I get from my mother (aka Ammi ji).....
Abu Funza: *walks in* Assalaamualaikum ammi ji, I want to join an organisation, is that ok?
Ammi ji: *turns off GEO tv* Why do you need to go to join? It's not any of that "doing good" rubbish is it?! because if it is...
Abu Funza: Naheen ammi ji, it's for learning how to help people mum, I want to join.
Ammi ji: Join schmoin, firstly I don't like you doing all this volunteering stuff ,they'll use you paagal! It's all that Tupac stuff you listen to!
Abu Funza: *takes a step back* No mum! this is something important , and by the way his name is Malcolm X not Tupac.
Ammi ji: *takes a step forward* no you can't join, and don't answer me back ok?! You were in my stomach for 9 months! Show me some respect!
Abu Funza: *puts one hand on the door handle* I'm not trying to be rude mum, I'm trying to do some important work - as a Muslim it's my duty, and don't worry I'm not joining some crazed group like Hizb-ut-Tahrir or anything - I going to join a real group who actually make a difference. Oh, by the way it's called a WOMB, not a stomach, that's scientifically impossible.
KERRRSLAP!!!
Ammi ji: I said don't get rude! *kicks Abu Funza in the stomach*
Abu Funza: *writhing in pain* so is that a yes then?
*Ammi ji walks off into the horizon*
Ammi ji: No!!! you can't join or I'll call your father!
Abu Funza learns his lesson
See? How can I, or even other Muslims, get any good work done?
I want to do something good - extreme!!!
I want to go clubbing - moderate.
I want to sit on a couch, gain some extra pounds - good Muslim boy. What's up with that?!
We all know we gots to do something, yet it seems we are too afraid to do anything. Aren't we Muslim enough to do the right thing? Am I such a coward that I'm afraid of another human, rather than being afraid of Allah? Has anyone else here been too afraid to do the the right thing? And what do you think we should be doing?
So yeah, that's my introduction. Watch this space for more posts about my mum, me and a BATA slipper that really hurts :p. Peace out.
Fiamaanallah,
Abu Funza
No comments:
Post a Comment