Future plans

Will Smith?? At hajj?? I bloody wish. But then again, saying that, what would the likelihood of me actually seeing him be? Zero. Zilch. Zip. Nada. But let’s not be too pessimistic here. 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000001%. Gawd I gotta admit that’d be amazing though. I love that man- he’s given us great films, great music, and great laughs every night when me and my brother watch old episodes of the Fresh Prince. The dude’s a genius. In fact I’m all up for him becoming the first Black President of the United States of America. But that’s another thought and another post. (See how easily I got distracted? Thanks to Abu Funza.)

The reason for me posting is to let you are readers know, that as you may have already gathered, Abu Funza and I are both planning on going to Hajj this year, so we thought we’d do a diary about it. Mine will probably be the bitchy, ihatearabs, isn’t religion quirky? one (don’t I really sound ready to go?) so WARNING if easily offended don’t read. And Funza’s, as a nicer, more tolerant, devout person than moi, will most likely be a more inspirational and religious reading.

I hope your looking forward to them.

It's that time again

Assalaamualaikum all,

'Tis the season to be jolly, and no, I'm not referring to Christmas (although Merry Christmas to all my christian friends out there).

I'm talking about Hajj, and insha'allah this year I'm going to be going for this beautiful journey aswell. It's been hell trying to get the visa, but hey that's bound to happen when you got a a corrupt government handing out visas (and no, I'm not talking about Blair and co. today, but about the Saudis).

But it seems a special someone might be joining me there aswell....

This is from an article from USA Today:

"I'm 38 years old, and I'm just getting an understanding of what life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness means," he says….

He's friends with vocal Scientologist Tom Cruise and attended Cruise's wedding in Italy. Although Smith has learned about the controversial religion, he has not converted to it. He says he's a connoisseur of all faiths.

"I want to go on the hajj to Mecca," [Will] Smith says. "I don't believe in religious separatism. I love people, and I don't believe that the twin towers getting knocked down means all Muslims are bad.

"I was raised in a resurrection Baptist church in Philadelphia, and my grandmother was a devout member of the church. The things that I believe are 90% morally what I learned growing up. But the additions that Jada and I have made — we've travelled around the world."
They have been "to India, and United Arab Emirates, and to Jordan and to Jerusalem. We are students of world religions."

Now I'm not saying that Will Smith is a Muslim (although according to Wikipedia he is - as is Ice Cube :P), but only Muslims can go on Hajj, so you never know...

Well seeing as most of our mosque leaders can only speak urdu or hindi it's good to see that Brother Will Smith is trying to learn how to communicate with them, cos I doubt the mosque leaders will know how to "get jiggy with it" ....

Fiamaanallah,

Abu Funza

The Defining Moment: Accident Or Murder?

After nearly a decade and over £3 million pounds spent, the inquiry announce that it was a 'tragic accident.' I'm sure that won't end the speculations and conspiracy theories sorrounding this. What do others think? Was it indeed a tragic & fatal accident ... or in fact murder ? Either way, how the hell will we ever know! I, for one, like Mohammed Al Fayed, want some closure....

An official UK police inquiry into the Paris car crash which killed Princess Diana and Dodi Al Fayed has found no evidence the couple were murdered. Lord Stevens, who led the three-year investigation, said the 1997 crash was a "tragic accident". The inquiry report said chauffeur Henri Paul, who also died, was speeding and over the legal drink-drive limit. A spokesman for Mr Al Fayed's father said he does not accept the findings as questions remain "unanswered".

Michael Cole said it was "highly unsatisfactory" that up to 18 key witnesses to the crash were not interviewed by the Metropolitan Police's inquiry into the death. He called for next year's inquests to be heard before a jury so that the evidence presented by Lord Stevens could be "thoroughly tested". The princess, 36, and Mr Al Fayed, 42, died when their Mercedes crashed in the Pont de l'Alma tunnel in August 1997.

"There was no conspiracy to murder any of the occupants of that car," Lord Stevens said. The findings - contained within an 832 page document - form part of the inquest into the deaths of the couple.

Mr Al Fayed's father, Mohamed, said the £3.69m spent on the Stevens inquiry was a total waste.

"I feel sorry for the taxpayers and the money that has been wasted on such garbage," he said. "Whatever it's going to cost me, if it costs me the last penny in my purse, I'm not going to rest until I get the gangsters." Mr Al Fayed said he would "definitely" accept a verdict by an inquest jury if it heard all the evidence.

Source: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/6217136.stm

A cry for help

Today i am not in a very good mood. And here, dear readers, is why:

Last night after tying up a few loose ends on the computer i was extremely tired so decided to get an early night. I really felt to have a slice of cheddar, but after hearing others' bad experiences with late night cheese and odd dreams, i decided to leave it. Don't get me wrong, normally those sort of superstitions amuse me and i would have purposely eaten some cheese to see what happened, but this morning i had a driving lesson which after last lessons disaster i reckoned i should be at least half alert for(incidentally it went ok). I brushed my teeth, washed, got changed and went up to bed. I listened to a little bit of music as i always do before sleeping, played a little snooker on my phone and then got under the covers. I lay there for a few minutes drifting off.

All of a sudden i heard this noise. It sounded like when after you had done paper mache in the art room in school, and had scraped it all off, the noise that it made when the teachers made you rub the table to make sure it was squeaky clean. What the *%$&??? i muttered. It couldnae be the neighbours because, well, i live next door to a very dignified and upstanding man of the community- the local vicar, and it most definitely was not him. And i doubted it was those boys that normally parked there at time of night, because they tended to play loud music. Not rub squeaky tables. Then it hit me of course. It was the scourge of my very being, the plague of my existence (at least when i wanted to sleep), those darn unidentified ANIMALS.

Now what animals i do not know, and only care in so much so i know what sort of traps to buy and wether they'd make a good meal. (I have a strong suspicion they are foxes so i possibly won't be getting the boiling pot ready just yet) Nor do i know what they are doing out there- fighting, making love, singing, arguing- but whatever it is, it annoys the HELL out of me. How am i supposed to get to sleep when they are caterwauling out their life stories for all the rest of the animals of the 'hood to hear? And at that pitch! The only reason i know they're animals in the first place, believe me they do not sound like them, is when it first started about a year and a half ago, scaring the bejusus out of me thing as i thought there was unholy goings on happenin, i asked around and that was the answer i got. Yet no one was willing to help (they all live on the other side of the house, or are asleep when it starts) so since then i have been unable to do anything about it and i get left, as last night, not being able to sleep.

But for my sanity, please readers, does anyone out there have any ideas?

Hats/Hijabs/Topi's Off To Baroness Tonge!

So much for freedom of speech 'ey! Or is it just freedom of speech when you attack & vilify Islam, Muslims, Palestine...?

The Zionist lobby's latest victim is Baroness Tonge. They seem to be failing miserably however to 'gag her' as she continues to perservere in standing firmly against the apartheid state of Israel & defending the people of Palestine. I came across the below ALERT from MPACUK. I suggest everyone who dares to speak out against pro-Israeli activists/Zionists for the sake of justice and freedom for Palestine also action this alert else that will be 1 less influential voice exposing the evils of Zionism & it's disastarous effects on the Palestinian people (not that we have many anyway!). All it takes is a simple letter or phonecall to the relevant people's:

-----------------

The Zionist lobby is gunning for one of the bravest supporters of Palestine in British politics. Baroness Jenny Tonge has been forced to resign as a trustee of the charity Christian Aid. But this is not enough for the Zionists who want to strip her of any influence or credibility - a Liberal Democrat Friends of Israel spokesman predicted that it was "only a matter of time" before she had her Parliamentary whip withdrawn
(reported in the Jewish Chronicle 30/11/06).

Baroness Tonge has faced
accusations of anti-Semitism over the following remarks about the Israeli lobby:

"The pro-Israeli lobby has got
its grips on the Western world, its financial grips. I think they’ve probably
got a grip on our party."

Indeed, the Pro-Israeli lobby, AIPAC
was described by Washington insiders as the 2nd most powerful lobby in the US, using campaign contributions to "buy power" . Baroness Tonge's view is further justified by academic researchers. According to Prof Stephen Walt, an academic dean of Harvard University, the United States has maintained an "unwavering support" for Israel - including the $3 billion a year given in direct assistance. This continued support has prevailed despite periods of serious budgetary pressures and neglect of large domestic constituencies. The details are given within a 12,000 word article entitled "The Israeli lobby."

The leader of the Liberal Democrats, Sir Menzies Campbell has defended the remarks of Baroness Tonge, so far resisting pressure to take further action against her. "[The remarks] Do not amount to anti-Semitism nor do they contain any implication of a supposed worldwide Jewish conspiracy when read in context of Baroness Tonge’s response to a question".

Baroness Tonge, a tireless supporter of the Palestinian cause, has come under fire from several pro-Israeli entities including LibDems Friends of Israel (Is that a Lobby?) for simply stating established fact to those on both sides of the Arab-Israeli debate.

Please email your local Liberal
Democrat representative (MP/ MEP/ Assembley member/ Councillor), voicing your concern over the false accusations launched at Baroness Tonge, and asking them to urge the party leadership to resist pressure to take action against her. You can find the contact details for your relevant constituency from this link:

http://www.writetothem.com/

You can alternatively contact the leader of the Liberal Democrats, Sir Menzies Campbell: westminster_office@mingcampbell.org.ukHouse of Commons Phone number: 020 7219 4446House of Commons
Fax number: 020 7219 0559Constituency Phone number: 01334 656361 Constituency
Fax number: 01334 654045

If you need an example of a letter, please see below but we would recommend you personalise it as much as possible.

Dear [Insert name here]I was very alarmed to hear that that Baroness Tonge has been unjustly criticized regarding comments made about the Pro-Israeli lobby. The view was not anti-Semitic and she reserves the right to highlight her views on the Israeli lobby based on the facts which are readily available to the public.

I also back Sir Menzies Campbell’s defense of Baroness Tonge and this reflects well on the Liberal Democrats credibility as a political party in the eyes of the Muslim Electorate. I would very much encourage a continuation of such a stance.

I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours Sincerely

-------------------------

The orchestrated well oiled Zionist lobbies, bloggers, & actvists are working overtime to defend Israel after one of the most bravest pro-Palestinian supporters exposes the truth. I do wonder what Muslims are doing to defend truth & justice? To defend Palestine? How many of our Mosque leaders even acknowledge that Tonge is in need of defence? How many will even bother to lift their heads off the prayer mats ? ? Sadly, the answers are all predictable - in the negative.

Current Affairs- Litvinenko's death

Conspiracy theories are interesting aren’t they? Put a real different spin on life. Now most are absolute crap and I know that, but man are they fun to discuss anyway. Many a good hour I have spent talking about conspiracy theories and many a new friend I have made as our comments become more and more outlandish and make less and less sense- and this whilst sober. We’ve spoken on all different levels- whether man really did land on the moon, Diana’s death really an accident, to our everyday life. Like my friend is convinced that our local big issue seller is an agent for Mossad even though she has two children and wears a scarf. “So what are the kids then?” we asked “just elaborate decoys?” “No, cameras” he replied. Sure. Or there’s our lecturer who we think was definitely a 70s rockstar who teaches at our uni so he doesn’t have to enter into the real world- I mean what else explains the jeans at his age, or the moustache and hair? But like I said mostly conspiracy theories in my opinion are wack and just something to entertain us when we are bored.

In my mind:
Man did land on the moon although why I ain’t sure
Princess Diana died in a car ACCIDENT and was not killed by Mossad because she was becoming too close to the Muslims, or by MI5 because she was pregnant with a muslim man
There is no Masonic/ prior of elder of zion (or whatever)/ catholic/ Medici/ Jewish/ rich banking family conspiracy to take over the world

But then there comes a case that is a bored girl’s, conspiracy nut’s, british papers’ dream. And by that I am talking about Alexander Litvinenko. Now unless you’ve been living on a different planet for the last few weeks, you can not have escaped the pictures of the effects the poison had left on Litvinenko’s body, or a new twist revealed in the case every few days. Here’s some of the theories surrounding his death:

He had a damning dossier on the break up of the Yukos oil company and was blackmailing former colleagues in the Russian security services who wanted to keep him quiet
Putin ordered his death becoming sick of continued criticism of his regime, especially Chechnya
He orchestrated his own death to discredit the Putin regime
As a convert to Islam he was involved in an Al Qaeda plot to smuggle radioactive material to make a dirty bomb
He was a pawn. Someone over here set up Russia to undermine relations between Russia and us and discredit Russia, some even say to spark of WW3. This method was used to draw as much public attention as possible

I’m not sure what I believe. I don’t believe he was an Al Qaeda agent as well if there was even a tiny bit of evidence to suggest this it would be waaay more widely publicised. Killing himself?f- that’s an extreme way to discredit Putin. There are not many people willing to die for a cause they believe in. So assassination? I find it hard to accept that Litvinenko’s death was because someone wanted to get rid of him for him, as surely there are quicker ways to kill someone. Or if you wanted to still cause them constant excruciating pain, less public methods which will only draw attention to your organisation. Yet I’m uncomfortable with the last one that as it makes there seem like there are dark forces out there far beyond public knowledge and I like to believe the best in our world.

Naïve- me? What do you lot out there think?

Why Me & Events Just Don't Go Together...

So why exactly am I not the biggest of fans when it comes to Muslim events? Well, I wasn't sure at first until a dear friend and I brought ourselves to talk about it. We use to tip toe around the topic before, but once we realised we both felt the same, hey presto the conversation didn't end for hours!

See, after I started questioning just about everything in life & stopped following the 'crowd' like an obedient sheep, hence why I call myself 'WideAwake', I began to scrutinise every Muslim event/talk/Nasheed/Sing Song, etc I had ever been to or that I had heard of (along with questioning everything else in life!).

Why did I go? Was it a 'feel good factor’? What was the purpose of these talks? Did they achieve anything? Were they active, informative, educational in helping those less fortunate than us? Did they encourage Muslims to get active in defending the Ummah and combating the rising Islamophobia, pro-Israel propaganda, the slaughter of the innocent?
Sadly, the answers are simply.

NO.

Not one ever did, a few may have got my blood boiling about events ongoing in the world such as the war in Iraq, the recent Lebanon war, etc but none provided real, practical solutions to do anything effective. That's why when my friend dragged me to the Global Unity Event last week, I wasn't a happy bunny. No disrespect to organisers of the event but I felt that there wasn't anything there to grab my attention, my passion. In short, no real substance. So until these events buck up their priorities, content and objectives, I'll stick to staying in the backseat for a while.

On a brighter note, I did however grab a few bargains at the exhibition stalls. I purchased a beautiful piece of Islamic calligraphy with radiant colours and patterns. The young girl (or artist I should say) had breathtaking talent and I was pleased she was utilising her skills for such amazing artwork!

I also spoke to a few groups / activists at the event such as Interpal, Muslim Aid, MPACUK and met the lads from Maktabah books who do a fantastic job of selling a really interesting and worthwhile selection of books. All seemed nice and genuine people who are sincere in striving for a good cause. But I must say 'Muslim Green Pages' went a tad bit OTT with the stickers! Lol, They were inundating people with sticker after sticker - whether we wanted them or not!

Well, that's all for now folks, think I've bored ya'll enough for now. Keep tuned in for more entertaining rants from Abu Funza and Count Ed.

The time I ran out of the mosque and got married...

Assalaamualaikum to all,

During Ramadhan (the 9th month in the Islamic calendar in which Muslims fast and argue about which days Eid is going to be on) I always try my best to sit at the front of the mosque, because as you all know there is alot of reward for those that sit at the front. So finally after 2 weeks of trying I finally got there...I was at the front, yay me!

So I prayed the 4 fard of Isha (the night prayer) with the congregation and then somebody made an announcement from the back: "Abu Funza your wife is ill, please go and see her straight avay" (yes he said "avay"). So I started running like a possesed man out of the mosque, but you have to take one thing to account: I'm not married :P. I'm only 19!

See what had happened was that I got confused by what the "avay" man had said. I thought that he said 'mother' in urdu, but that was my mistake. And also how was I supposed to know that other people were also called Abu Funza?!

So I ran and ran, and finally got outside.....and my dad was there to greet me. He knew that I was the only person crazy enough to run out of the mosque to attend to my "wife's" health.

So you can imagine how sad I was when I realised that there was no way that I was going to get back to the front of the mosque, I had to be content with praying at the back, and boy some crazy stuff goes on at the back of the mosques.

Firstly, the kids are running around like as soon as the prayers begin, it's almost as if they wait for the prayer to start and then begin their activities. Secondly, there are some stinky socks in the back, because some people come directly from work or are just too plain lazy to change their socks and boy they can knock out even the strongest of men, they smell that bad!

So anyhow, the next day I went to pray Zuhr and the Imam of the mosque asked me "beta (i.e. son) is your wife theek thaak (i.e. ok)?" Now I was hoping that the Imam didn't know that it was me who ran out, but since he asked I explained to him what happened. Unforntunately for me, all the other men were listening to our conversation aswell (He and I should have really picked a better location to talk about my "marriage") and began laughing at me.

I was laughing aswell, but then I began to think, it's funny, but there's a point that has to be seriously considered: Imagine this other Abu Funza didn't speak or understand urdu, how would he have know that his loved one is ill?

One of my biggest pet peeves is khutbahs (sermons) given in urdu - I live in England, speak to me in english! Fine I can understand urdu, but what about my somalian/portugese/chinese/english brothers and sisters who don't speak a word of urdu - what about them? They come to the mosque for religious enlightenment to understand their faith and then act, but how can they know what to do if they don't what to do because some committee members couldn't be bothered to find an english speaker. As a youth I have to carry this Ummah in the future, but if I don't know how because everything was being explained in a foreign language , then how can I begin my everlasting duty to Allah?

Alhamdulillah, my mosque is still one of the better ones because they have a deputy-imam who can speak english and allows women in (some don't, and it's not for religious reasons, trust me, watch this Dispatches programme following MPACUK on their quest to show the world how 60% of mosques in England don't let women in, for no reason whatsoever. The programme was called Women Only Jihad).

But what about other mosques? I know for sure that some mosques are very very racist. Shouldn't we do something about this? I mean Allah will hold us to account if we don't do as He says and don't enjoin the good and forbid the wrong, but are we too afraid to hold the mosques who are wrong to account? I say we all make a stand and hold the corrupt committee members (not all are corrupt - but you know what I mean :P) to account.

Fiamaanallah,

Abu Funza

P.S. I'm still single so if there are any marriage proposals coming my way, keep 'em coming! Awwwww yeah